


May Eats Dirt

by Linkle



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Survival, Swearing, cannibalism mention, society
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 12:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20025709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linkle/pseuds/Linkle
Summary: The five first female leads of the Pokémon anime series find themselves trapped in some sort of cave. With no Pokémon, no contact to the outside... how will they last?





	May Eats Dirt

**Author's Note:**

> 🌊: Misty  
🍥: May  
✨: Dawn  
🐲: Iris  
🥐: Serena

🍥: I'm gonna be honest, y’all… if we're stuck down here much longer… I might just start eating dirt.

🌊: …Please, don't eat dirt. Please. 

🍥: Wh-

🌊: The LAST thing we need right now is you getting sick off dirt. 

🍥: And why not? 

✨: I'd tend to agree with Misty here… Dirt is, uh-

🍥: How do you know dirt is THAT bad? I- How bad can it be? 

🐲: I can't BELIEVE you need it explained to you why you don't eat dirt? It's full of germs and junk, you’ll-

🍥: What kind of germs.

🐲: …Huh? 

🍥: If dirt is so full of germs, what kind of germs is it full of? Since you know so much

🐲: …I don’t KNOW.

✨: I don’t think, any of us, can be expected to know... the specifics of dirt germs. 

🍥: Exactly! We just don't know enough about dirt to be sure.

🌊: Oh my god.

🐲: YOU’RE the one who doesn’t know enough about anything! 

🍥: Look, I’m not saying I’m gonna like, make a HABIT out of eating dirt, or enjoy it. I love food! Real food! I’m just saying… when it gets down to it… what options do we have here? 

[pause] 

✨I mean… there's always… the worst case… 

🌊Uh… 

🍥: Yeah, none of the alternatives are good. So eating dirt is relatively good! It, it doesn't kill anyone, and like... Ground-types eat dirt, right? 

✨: Do they? 

🍥: Diglett and stuff, yeah, I think. so it's gotta have some nutritional value! 

🐲: We’re not GROUND-TYPES, is the big difference.

🍥: Well, maybe there’s not so big a difference! Maybe Ground-types have the right idea. And, we don’t have many other options, so…

🌊: I’m gonna be straight with you May. I think I'd rather break your arms before I let you shovel a bite of dirt into your mouth.

🍥: WHAT?! My arms? That’s violent!

🐲: Geez, Misty. Way to-

🌊: I DON’T WANT MAY TO JUST. Eat a bunch of dirt and start getting sick everywhere, throwing up, it’d just be DISGUSTING. It’ll smell awful, I just don’t wanna deal with THAT.

✨: That still seems a bit excessive… but I guess I can see where you’re coming from.

🍥: What! Don’t! Don’t see that! You shouldn’t see that at all!

🐲: I guess a concern I have is just that… do you really think you could break her arms? Like, even if you wanted to?

🌊: What? Are you doubting me? Of course I could! I totally could.

🐲: Are you suuuure? ‘Cause you look pretty… scrawny to me.

🌊: I could! Fuck you! I’m strong! I’m a swimmer, I work out, I’m plenty strong! Dawn, feel my muscles, couldn’t I break someone’s arms?

✨: Do I, mm, have to? I don’t really want to, touch arm right now.

🐲: I think, if ANY of us is going to do the arm breaking around here, it should be me.

🌊: Oh? You think you could? You think you have it in you?

🐲: Totally! I’m fit, I do a lot of exercise, I-

🌊: I mean, mentally. Do you think you could? The responsibility? Someone’s arm, under your authority, could you?

🐲: I-

🍥: I think, NONE of you are going to break my arms, ever! Cuz if you tried, I’d be like, BAP! And just, GET you and run away, super fast, ‘cause I’m strong, and really cool.

✨: I think I could break someone’s arm, probably. I’m like, I’m in shape. I dance and stuff... I could like, kick ‘em maybe, break them that way? I dunno, just, spitballing here.

[pause]

✨: ...Hey, Serena hasn’t really said anything this like, whole time we’ve been here...

🌊: Oh, yeah.

🐲: I hadn’t even noticed.

🍥: Hey, Serena, come and join us!

🥐: Ah, sorry, I haven’t really, had much to say… I don’t really, know any of you that well… And I don’t want to. Eat dirt, or get my arms broken or anything-

🌊: WELL I WON’T BREAK YOUR ARMS IF YOU DON’T EAT DIRT. IT’S NOT LIKE, I’m not being a TYRANT about this, I’m not being unreasonable, am I? Am I? I just don’t wanna deal with dirt mess, so don’t eat dirt, and I won’t hurt you! Okay?!

[pause]

[Serena turns away to face from the group]

[another pause]

🍥: ...I think we should feed Serena dirt.

🌊: WHAT.

[Serena jolts]

🐲: Where did THAT come from?

🍥: I ju- it’s like, as a test, you know? To like, test if dirt is worth it to eat! It’s worth it to find out, and, since she’s the outlier of our society…

🌊: Our SOCIETY?

[Serena sidles further away]

✨: I, don’t think we count as a society, us just being here…

🐲: A society is a big group of people living together, dummy. Big.

🌊: Okay, to be faaaair, I think the like. Dictionary Definition of a society is like. Just any group of people living together. It can be, there’s no like, strict size limit, I don’t think? So we could be a society. If we wanted.

🍥: Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that we are a society. A society can just be five girls stuck in a cave. Okay?

✨: Suuure…?

🐲: Whatever.

🍥: Serena here, is the outlier of our society. And so-

🐲: Should we really be like, immediately defining our society based on what people we exclude? That, doesn’t really sit right with me.

✨: Yeah, same here… Serena might be an outcast, but… I think we should be fair.

🍥: No you don’t get it, Serena is an outcast because she’s a THREAT to our society. She doesn’t follow the rules.

🌊: Hooow so?

🍥: She like, she doesn’t GET the rules. She didn’t get the link, between dirt eating and arm breaking, crime and punishment. And so she’s exiled.

🐲: Aren’t you also like, guilty then? Since you’re the one who wants to eat dirt.

🍥: No, you see… I’m fighting to get dirt eating recognized as good. I’m working WITHIN the system, trying to make a change, while Serena, she didn’t get it at all.

✨: I doooooon’t get it at all… The words you say… they’re just, missing me.

🌊: I think, what May is TRYING to say is… that our society, of us five, is built around. Dirt eating. The party lines are drawn on whether it should be arm-breaking or not. And Serena just, didn’t get that at all? So she’s… shunned. 

🍥: [claps] SEE, Misty gets it! It’s all about structure, baby!

✨: Oooooohhh kayyyyy…..?

🐲: Well… if we’re like. Grouping up, based on our dirt-eating opinion. Then… I pick the anti-dirt side. It just sounds, unsavory, on every level.

[Iris gets up and moves to sit next to Misty]

[Dawn gets up to move and sit next to May]

🌊: Et tu, Dawn?

✨: I, well… May’s convinced me, I think. It’s like… I think dirt has its merits. It’s better than nothing, it’s better than like… CANNIBALISM, I know none of us want to go to that…

🐲: You’re like, the only one bringing up cannibalism, you’re- you keep bringing it up, it’s sorta…

🌊: Yeah, can we just, not talk about eating our flesh? It’s, unpleasant by any stretch, I-

✨: Well we can’t just IGNORE it, it’s an important factor in this...

🍥:Yeah, you can’t just CENSOR her! Let her speak!

[Serena gets up and starts to walk towards the exit]

🌊: Where are you going, Serena?

🥐: I, uh… I’m gonna be honest, I can’t take much more of thissssss...

✨: You can’t just leave though?

🐲: Yeah, you’ll get like, lost! Who knows what Pokémon are out there!

🥐: I mean… at the rate things are going…

[pause]

🥐: I’d rather take my chances with the Pokémon.

[Serena exits]

🌊: ...Should we stop her?

🍥: Let her walk, I say. Let her walk!!

[Dawn hangs her head]

✨: The tallest nail gets the hammer.

🐲: Well… with her gone, maybe it’ll be easier to recenter the conversation.

✨: Which was abouuuuuut, cannibalism?

🌊+🐲: NO.

🐲: Though I DO think the conversation on what food we could and should eat here is a good one.

🍥: Yeah, I said before, if anyone else has some other options to propose, I’m all ears.

🌊: Well… does anyone have anything on them?

🐲: Oh, I do! I’ve got a bunch of berries stashed with me, we could-

🥐: YOU HAD FOOD THE WHOLE TIME?

[Misty, Iris, Dawn and May turn to the cavern exit, which Serena enters through]

🥐: YOU HAD FOOD. THIS WHOOOOLE TIME. AND YOU DIDN’T MENTION?

🐲: Well, yeah, I-

🥐: I’VE BEEN WAITING. SITTING HERE. LISTENING TO YOU IDIOTS GO ON AND ON ABOUT DIRT AND ARMS AND BROKEN BONES AND WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE. AND YOU’VE BEEN… SITTING ON FOOD, THIS WHOLE TIME? I’VE BEEN STARVING, THREATENED, BEEN DEGRADED, AND YOU ASSHOLES MEAN TO TELL ME IT WAS ALL JUST… JUST...

[Serena screeches]

[pause]

🍥: ...I think Serena’s comment was rather out of line, wouldn’t you say?

🐲: I’d second that.

🌊: Should we punish her for it?

✨: Dirt feeding, or arm breaking?

[Serena nervously backs her way up towards the cavern exit, before breaking out in a full sprint]

[The society pursues her]

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so like. I wrote this fic while I was trying to sleep at like 5 in the mornng. And spent the rest of the day just transcribing it. I hope it says a lot.


End file.
